Column: Am I Adulting Yet?

Confessions of a 23-year-old college student

It's Saturday night and you're at home with a cheap bottle of red wine, drowning in homework.

You type into Google "articles on being 23 and lost,” with hopes of finding someone out there who understands what you're going through. You start reading, only to find yourself feeling worse.

As a child you fantasized about getting older, around 15 you learned how to drive, by 18 you purchased your first pack of cigarettes and graduated high school, at 21 you were able to buy alcohol legally, and bar hop. When 22 came around you were on a mission to save the world, then one day you wake up and you’re 23.

If there's any particular age that conveys the overwhelming feeling of being stuck in limbo, this is it.

"If you are lost at twenty-three, you are exactly where you need to be right now," wrote Heidi Priebe, staff writer at thoughtcatalog.com.

Day after day you’re faced with the realization you're only getting older; this is the year you realize excuses just don't work anymore.

"It's quite a confusing time; wedged between childhood and adulthood, yet it's also full of so much excitement," wrote theeverygirl.com’s writing intern Brianna Cook.

You should have your own place, be ready to commit to a relationship, have an idea of who you are and what you're doing.

You should pretty much have your shit together by now.

"The years following college aren't kind to us," thoughtcatalog.com’s Priebe wrote.

You're reminded you should be finished with college and settled into your career, or considering graduate school.

But if you're like me you took breaks on and off from college and are still pursuing an undergraduate degree.

You wake up in the morning and lie in bed thinking of all the things you need to accomplish and all the time you've wasted. Wondering why you're so horrible at being an adult.

This is the year you skip out on partying as much, because you're too busy trying to figure things out and pull yourself together, after your daily existential crisis.

You try and make yourself feel better by thinking "everything happens for a reason," and that you just have “more life experience."

You've created this imaginary clock inside and you can't stop blaming yourself for past decisions, all you can think is how time is running out, and you’re getting "old, old, old, old."

It doesn't help when someone younger than you asks your age and remarks, "Wow, you're 23, you're old, I thought you were 20." You laugh it off, but deep down you're thinking, "Thanks for rubbing it in, asshole."

At this age people expect more from you.

Inside you still feel full of youth, like a kid that isn't ready to grow up. Then you realize you're one of the older ones in your class, at your job, and in your group of friends.

The pressure caves in that you should probably be setting an example.

Plenty of people tell you how young you are, but it goes over your head.

You wish you could ignore all of your responsibilities and have more time to figure things out, but the clock is ticking.

Welcome to the reality of a 23-year-old.

Of course there is some excitement that comes with being 23. Once you've stopped feeling sorry for yourself, and have accepted this phase, you'll realize it's okay to go at your own pace.

During this time you get to know yourself all over again, reflect, let go of what’s holding you back, and re-create yourself. This is the age you start looking at things from a different perspective, and really get to think about what matters to you. Twenty-three is the age of finding your balance, learning how to maintain it, and discovering what makes you happy.

As cliche as it might sound, to make it through 23 you have to become good friends with yourself, and practice being in the moment.

Whenever you feel like you aren't "adulting" yet, just remember no one really knows what they're doing, no matter how old you get.


At a glance:

“F*ck That: An Honest Meditation”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY&feature=youtu.be

“Kelly Williams Brown "'Adulting': How to Become A Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps" http://kellywilliamsbrown.com/adulting/

"Lyn Feola Rumage on ‘Adulting’”
https://lynfeolarumagebooks.com/tag/writer/

"'Adulting' is an Indictment of Soceity, Not of Millennials" http://www.patheos.com/blogs/johnbeckett/2016/01/adulting-is-an-indictment-of-society-not-of-millennials.html

“Read This If You’re 23 And Lost”
http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/04/read-this-if-youre-23-and-lost/

“23 Reminders That Every 23-Year-Old Needs To Hear Right Now”
http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/12/23-things-reminders-about-life-that-every-23-year-old-needs-to-hear/